How to Set Yourself Free from Pain

For a long time, I never knew how to handle pain. I didn’t know how to hold my own hand, how to fight for myself, or how to stand in my own corner. Instead, I sabotaged myself, not because I was weak, but because I didn’t know how to face what was hurting inside me.

 

I wanted a savior, someone to rescue me from the chaos in my mind. But what I really needed was to learn how to trust myself, how to respect myself enough to stop abandoning myself in moments of pain.

 

Pain isn’t the enemy. What hurts us most is the way we relate to our pain. I treated mine like a monster to run from. But pain is a messenger; my inner child, my nervous system, my unmet needs begging me to pay attention. All those times I sabotaged myself, I wasn’t really trying to destroy me. I was trying to protect myself from feelings I didn’t yet know how to hold.
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This was my brain’s attempt for safety, even though it kept wounding me more. Once I saw that, something inside shifted. I realized the answer wasn’t running from pain or burying it in overthinking. The answer was micro-actions. Tiny steps. A single decision each day to respect myself more than I did yesterday.

Discipline and routine are not cages—they are freedom. They are the proof I give myself, over and over again, that I will show up for me. But discipline without compassion turns into punishment. And love without boundaries turns into chaos.

 

I’ve learned that freedom doesn’t come from fighting myself. It comes from re-parenting the part of me that was left alone in pain for too long. Now, when fear shows up, I don’t run. I choose myself, even when I feel shaky.

 

And here’s the most important part: you don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to have proof that something better is coming. You just need to take one small action toward the life you want. That’s how change begins.

 

Every day, I need to remind myself: I can’t keep choosing pain. I have to choose myself. And I have to keep choosing myself—again and again, one step at a time.

 

Freedom isn’t about eliminating pain. It’s about never abandoning yourself again in the face of it. Every small act of respect, every tiny choice in your favor, becomes proof that you are your own savior.

That’s how you set yourself free.
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